The WTF Sox Update

What the fuck????????? Kenny Williams is killing me this offseason. I had made my peace with losing Dye and Podsednik. And Fields was on his way out the door well before the Sox got eliminated from playoff contention. But what the fuck is happening on the Southside? I feel like I've been punched in the face.

We want to get younger. Add speed. Play "Ozzie-ball" (whatever the fuck that is). Alright, fine I get it. That's how you justify wasting more money than Congress on mediocre-at-best players like Alex Rios. (I can't wait to see this guy "earn" his $70M with a contract that'll probably last longer than my life)

Then what the hell? First we sign Omar Vizquel. He's a thousand!
-He's so old he left his wallet on Noah's Ark.
-He's so old that he owes Moses a dollar.
-He's so old that he sat in front of Jesus in the first grade.
-He's so old that his social security number is 1 (haha, just kidding. His a foreigner, he doesn't need a SSN!)
-He's so old that in school, there was no history class.
-He's so old that if he acted his age, he'd die.
Feel free to leave your own old age joke in the comments.

We back this up by signing Andruw Jones who is conservatively listed at 32, though he and his .214 batting average have me believing he's much older. Well he's played like it.

But we have nice speedy, young players who excel at "Ozzie-ball" like Chris Getz. Wait, what's that you say? We traded him. Shit, I guess my dog isn't as "in the know" as his. Well this makes total fucking sense right.

Kenny Williams has said these moves are bolstering the Sox bench with quality players. Well, despite my difference of opinion on what's "quality" I can understand his logic. Except for one fatal flaw.... WE DON'T HAVE A QUALITY STARTING LINEUP! Call me crazy, but the offseason should be spent making moves to make the team better. Last year, the Yankees went after key guys like CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett, and Mark Teixeira; all of whom are key starters. Oh, and they won the damn World Series.

Now, I don't expect the Sox to go out and break the bank. They've accidentally done that already with the pick-ups Rios and Peavy, and the extensions Buerhle and Konerko are playing under. But would it be too hard to find some starters? Preferably a lead-off hitter since evidently ours wasn't worth keeping. Or find players who'll enable our guys to stop playing out of position (Ramirez is playing SS despite being better when at 2nd. Beckham spent last season at 3B, and will play 2B this year despite being a natural SS- I'm sure this is logical to someone, but I don't have that logic).

But it's ok. Rumor has it that the Sox have a keen interest in Coco Crisp, presumably as a leadoff hitter because he's fast. (Either that or they're looking for that elusive marketing deal with Cocoa Krispies) Call me skeptical, but I don't think a 30-year old who's been battling injuries, coming off a season when he hit .228 is the answer. Especially since he plays the same position as the overpriced Rios. I just don't see this helping. Is Chone Figgins really too much to ask for?

Anyway I'm looking forward to the season rooting for my adopted national league team (Phillies) for a full season instead of just after the White Sox season ends.


EDITOR'S NOTE: (that's right I editor's noted myself) The last time I was this pissed during an off-season it was the summer we traded Carlos Lee for Scott Podsednik and Luis Vizcaino... the Sox won the World Series the following season. Let's see where this goes...

Being weary of Marian Hossa/Hawkey update

So once again, I've probably taken waaay too long to update this amazingly terrific sports blog. But once again, I don't give a rat's ass, so the 2 or 3 people that actually read this can suck it up. Or stop reading. I don't care.

So on to Hawks.
Thomas D and I are now a whopping 5-0 in person this season. Granted, this game was a while ago, but here's my quick recap as I now remember it, before diving into the subject of the blog.

Game 5: Sun. Nov 15th, San Jose Sharks @ Blackhawks... W 4-3/OT
The Hawks capped off a perfect 4-0 homestand with a key win over the team with the best record in the West. The Sharks jumped out to a 3-1 lead, but the Hawks came right back and tied it in the 2nd period. Nothing happened in the 3rd, then Seabrook scored quickly into overtime to send us home.

Since then the Hawks started their annual circus road trip out with a bang, kicking the shit out of Calgary 7-1, smacking around Edmonton 5-2, then surviving a slugfest with Vancouver 1-0. That makes a 7 game winning streak and bring us up to now, the day before their next game, against the San Jose Sharks. This game is significant as it marks the return (start?) of the "$60M Injury".

Everyone and their mother has an opinion on the return of Hossa. (Great hockey blog story here. And another good blog story here, by people who write more than me.) Personally, I'm a little skeptical. Granted, I haven't been a hockey guy for a long time. But I've seen shit like this before. The "Savior" comes in and automatically a team is supposed to win everything. Well this Blackhawks bandwagon is getting crowded in a hurry. Meanwhile, we've seen nothing from this guy yet. Hence, the $60M Injury nickname. (FYI, this nickname will stand til I'm sufficiently impressed with his play) While I don't doubt Hossa to be a great talent (you have to be to earn that kind of money, right?) But here's my concerns:
-I'm considerably worried about how he fits into this team. His cap number has already made re-signing Kane, Toews and Keith more difficult than it should be and is most likely going to force Sopel out of town for nothing other than cap relief (though I'd be a dick to not note than Campbell's cap hit is worse, and I strongly believe Huet to be vastly overpaid).
-The Hawks are red hot right now. Hossa will be on the same line as Toews and Kane. This could potentially disrupt the great chemistry the Hawks have working for them right now. Especially because...
-His injury. That we didn't know about when signing him for $60M. I can almost guarantee he's not all the way ready for the rigors of an NHL game. The Hawks will need to withstand about 3 weeks of a "pre-season" for the $60M Injury. The next 3 weeks contain plenty of big-time games that could start to shape the season. It's gonna be key to play well, especially against some of the elite teams in the league (i.e. Sharks, Penguins) before getting into the big rivalry games against his former team, the Red Wings. Which brings me to my last point of concern...
-His playoff performances. The $60M Injury has been on the losing end of the last 2 Stanley Cup Finals. I don't know how this makes me feel. I feel pretty confident that there will be some playoff hockey in Chicago this spring. So how is he going to help. On one hand, he's used to going deep in the playoffs and his teams have made nice runs. On the other hand, his teams have "struggled" on the ultimate stage and failed to win the Cup. On the other hand how much of his team's efforts can be attributed to him? It's tough to say.

So I'm a little weary. I'd rather be a little cautious and find myself surprised at the success than the other way around. So maybe that's why I'm telling myself these things. Or maybe the media attention the Blackhawks are receiving again scares the shit out of me. I don't know. But let's see where this takes me.

Current Record/Standings: 15-5-2, 32 points. 1st in Division, 2nd in Conference
Next up for the Hawks: @San Jose Sharks, Wednesday Nov. 25th
Next up for Me and Thomas D: Home vs Blue Jackets, Tuesday Dec. 1st

So maybe the NHL season started on October 2nd. And maybe I even went to a preseason game in the middle of September. (Hint: it did, and I did) So perhaps there should have been some mention of the Blackhawks season in my blog before now. But dammit, I'm paid to be an architect. Not a fucking beat writer, so you'll get my opinion when I damn well please.

Since this is the first post of the season, you'll want to know the nicknames of some of the newer players (and other nicknames in general).
Besides Kaner and Tazer, (and Steeger and Eager) we've got "BOOM", "Soup", "The French F-Bomb", "Suck", and "The $60M Injury". Maybe I'll adjust Hossa's nickname once he actually suits up and plays.

Anyway, after tonight's fantastic 3rd period where I'm 99% sure the Hawks scored more goals than the Kings got shots (3-2 I believe) Thomas D and I are now 4-0 on the season for games we've attended. Unless you count that shitty preseason loss, but we don't because we left right before the overtime to go get wasted on a pub crawl. I'm still sure we made the right decision.

In the essence of time I'll just give a quick thought or two from what I can remember of each game I've attended.

Game 1: Calgary @ Hawks Oct. 12, 2009
If the Bears woulda been on Monday night football, we would have left. The French F-Bomb lived up to his name, allowing 3 early goals, and Niemi gave up 2 more in the first. All of that was just the set-up for the greatest comeback in NHL history (look it up, it tied a record) as the Hawks came back from down 5-0 to win 6-5 in OT, in the second greatest game I've seen in person. (Trailing last years playoff wins over Detroit (sucks))

Game 2: Edmonton @ Hawks, Oct. 14, 2009
The return of Khabibulan, the goalie I wish the Hawks still had, instead of the French F-Bomb. The Hawks won 4-3 in a game that didn't seem that close and got really out of hand at the end. There was a fight near us in the stands, some fights on the ice, and the game ended up with a 4-3 and an empty net. Weird game.

Game 3: Minnesota @ Hawks, Oct. 26, 2009
The return of Martin Havlat, the leading point scorer from last year's team. It's a wonder why the Hawks were picked to do so well this year without the key guys from last year. Anyway, this game was actually kind of forgettable as a the Hawks beat a bad Wild team 3-1. I honestly don't remember a thing about this game. (I even had to look up the score and the date) And I wasn't even drunk b/c it was a Monday.

Game 4: Los Angeles @ Hawks
Tazer was lost to a concussion back in mid-October. He joined the concussed Eager as well as Burish (torn ACL) and "The $60M Injury" while Bolland played with a bad back. The rag-tag Hawks were treading water, and tonight, Eager and Tazer came back. The Captain made the most of his return with a goal, and The French F-Bomb has actually put together a few decent games recently. As I mentioned above, the Hawks scored 3 goals in the 3rd to take the win, 4-1, over a Kings team I was stunned to find out had 10 wins thus far.

Current Record/Standings: 9-5-2, 20 points. 1st in Division, 3rd in Conference
Next up for the Hawks: Home against Toronto Maple Leafs, Friday Nov. 13
Next up for Me and Thomas D: Home against San Jose Sharks, Sunday Nov. 15

Cedric Benson likes boys/NFL Update

Ok, this blog update is well past due. I mean, if this were a steak, it'd be so overdone you could use it as charcoal for your next fire. I mean, I got into a good rant about why Cedric Benson is a worthless fuckstick about 2 weeks ago, right after he and the Bengals embarrassed my Bears, and I didn't even get around to posting it til now. So instead of formulating some intelligent argument as to why I and all Bears should hate this boner-for (what's a boner-for?) I'm going to post what I wrote in a couple of messages right after the fact.

In response to Benson no longer being a bust....

All it took was years of suckitude in Chicago, followed by 2 arrests for alcohol related issues, followed by his release for him to get motivated to do something about his career... I guess being a #4 overall pick and being paid millions isnt enough motivation to try to occasionally break a tackle or run past someone... seriously Benson can go lick a big fat dick

After being baited into one more solid rant....

He was worthless... and him being a crybaby bag of douche cost the Bears their starting RB from their super bowl run (Thomas Jones) and set the franchise back a couple of years at that position...
(maybe, just maybe if the Bears had their back who was running for like 1200+ yards still, they wouldnt have to spend future, 4th & 2nd round picks on RBs and also sign a Free Agent, and then I don't know, we could help the offensive line with picks and free agents, which was & is the biggest fucking need on the team)... but crybaby Ced bullying his way into the starting position and forcing Jones out of town set us back, just so he could be a dick and not even try to be a good running back for us.

Benson is a fucktard and I hate that steaming pile of dog shit.

I think that gets my point across. By the way, he's now on my fantasy football team, which all but guarantees his awful second half of the season. You're welcome Bears fans.