Talkin Chicago (and occasionally college) Sports

Hawkey, Bulldogs and Baseball

2010-04-05T10:36:00.015-05:00

It's that glorious time of year again. Hockey season is nearing the playoffs (and the beards are starting to grow), the NCAA Championship game is tonight, and of course, it's MLB Opening Day. So it's time to roll out a mega blog update.

Calgary Flames: Property of Patrick Kane (and the Chicago Blackhawks)
4 straight this year. Beat them in the playoffs last year. Took all 4 regular season last year. After a stretch where the Hawks looked like shit, and stuck me with my only 2 witnessed losses all year, Thomas D and I wrapped up our season ticket plans Sunday against the Flamers. Also known as the medicine to whatever ails the Hawks. So after Kopecky and Brouwer Power gave the Hawks the lead I don't think anyone was surprised to see Kane snap out of his slump as the Hawks won 4-1. 3 straight wins now for the Hawks has us back to within 2 point of San Jose for the #1 seed in the West (with a game in-hand and the tie-breaker in wins and head-to-head). So those terrible losses to Columbus and St Louis are starting to fade into distant memory.

Game Observations-
-Antti Niemi (aka The Anti-Goal) is starting to stand on his head more and more. He looks confident and since he'll be the #1 goalie this spring, allow me to fully jump aboard the Niemi bandwagon.
- Suck (aka Tomas Kopecky) may need a new a nickname. It turns out he might not suck. In fact he may actually be the most valuable 4th line player... who knew? He's had key goals now if 2 of the last 3 games including the first of the game on Sunday.

-I wonder how much the goalies for our Canadian rivals hate "Chelsea Dagger." I always envision Roberto Luongo having nightmares about the song, and I'm pretty sure that after the Hawks outscored Calgary 20 goals to 8 this season (and 20 of the last 23 scored after that terrible start for the hawks in October), that Kiprusoff must hate that song too. I wonder what happens if these guys are at a bar and someone puts it on the jukebox. I know the Hawks fans have gotten under Luongo's skin, and I kinda hope the same has happened to Kiprusoff.

Central Division Champions.
Before the start of the game yesterday, the Fuckstains of Detroit lost in Philly. Which officially made the Blackhawks your 2009-10 Central Division Champions! Of course, Sports Authority knew this for a while, because you could buy hats that said Champs for about a week. Even the win wasn't "needed" it was nice to notch up 2 more points yesterday, and when the scoreboard announced the Division Championship, the United Center erupted. It was probably the loudest ovation I've heard all year, and I'm really gearing up for the playoffs again.

#playoffFAIL
Recently, Thomas D and I have taken to twitter to make the interweb aware of disgust for Blackhawks fans were treated for the playoffs. However the guys at Second City Hockey said it better than I ever could in Sunday's Comitted Indian:

"I was surprised to find out that partial season ticket holders did not get a presale for playoff tickets. I know they did last year, having the chance to buy a limited number of seats for a limited number of games before the teeming masses got their crack. I don't see the logic behind that. Those who have plunked down more cash and made more of a commitment to the Hawks should get rewarded. As a season-ticket holder I get one. Even if it was just the chance to get seats for just one playoff game or a couple, those fans deserved that chance, and I hope the Hawks organization knows it made a mistake in not doing so. Sure, they'll get a king's ransom for those seats on the open market and won't even notice. Such is the way of the world I guess. I go back and forth from decrying to defending John McDonough and his ways, but this was most certainly a fuck-up, and he should admit as much or at least explain why they made the decision. But I won't sit on a hot stove waiting for that to happen."

needless to say, we don't have postseason tickets. I'm pretty pissed about it. Enough so, that I tried to get #playoffFAIL going as a trending topic on twitter. It didn't work, but @tomdmaloney and I (@TheErrDizzle) started using it to call out other teams... like Calgary. So I've got that going for me.

BULLS Update
#playoffFAIL! I'd like to update something here, but since the last game I saw was the one in Indy when 80% of the 920 Neely crew was together, it's tough. Between the injuries, the bad trades (see: Salmons, John) the losses and the general suckiness of everyone not named Derrick Rose I lost interest. They aren't headed for the playoffs, so I'll probably tune in during the offseason to find out which A-list free agents snub the Bulls offer first.

Title Talk
This is pretty much all you need to know about where I stand:

Butler is a 7.5 point underdog, and the Over/Under on the game is 128.5. Since I'm a degenerate gambler, I figure I'd break it down with my analysis. Butler controls the pace of the game as well as any team I've seen all year. Duke also slows it down and plays alot of games in the 60 point range. I'm gonna take the under there. Pretty easily. And if you're not scoring alot of points, it's tough to win by a big margin. I don't see anyway Butler doesn't keep it close, especially since Shelvin Mack should be back at 100%.
So take Butler and the points, and the under.
As for a prediction, well, I gotta pick Butler. Rooting for Duke is akin to rooting for the Yankees so I'll say final score Butler 62, Duke 57

It's the start of something new:
The Yankees and Red Sox started off the baseball season last night. But today is when it gets good, as the other teams get going today. (Editor's note*: I'm typing this before any of the games start, but by the time this gets posted, the White Sox game will be over)

I was pretty critical of a lot of the White Sox offseason moves, namely trading Chris Getz, forcing Beckham to 2B, signing Omar Vizquel and Andruw Jones. But the beginning of April is always that time for baseball optimism. Just ask a Cubs fan.
But my optimism is a little more realistic. The best thing that the White Sox did all offseason was hiring someone to ruin Joe Nathan's elbow and forcing him out for the season. Sure Twins fans will tell you it was a fluke injury, but I know the truth. It was too great for the Sox to not have been done by a hired hitman.
So that injury to the Twins, coupled with the Tigers shipping off Granderson and Edwin Jackson (as well as allegedly being more broke than Roger Dorn in Major League II) is pretty good for the Sox. I'll be the first to admit that the AL Central is weak as hell. And the Sox are running a starting pitching staff of Mr. Perfect (Buehrle), Peavy, Danks and Gavin Floyd. Anything can happen in the playoffs, so the whole key is getting there. Well the Sox have a potentially dominant rotation and a division that might be won with 83 wins. I have to say I like those odds. And if Jaun Pierre can do what Scotty Pods did last year, 83 wins is well within reach. So here's to mediocre baseball in a horseshit division, aka your 2010 Chicago White Sox!

AL Central Predictions:
1) Sox 84-78
2) Twins 82-80 - I hate these guys
3) Tigers 81-81 - Detroit Sucks
4) Royals 74-88 - They gotta finish 4th sometime...
5) Injuns 72-90 - Damn you Grady Sizemore

Full MLB Predictions
AL East - Yankees
Central - Sox
West - Rangers
Wild Card -Rays

NL East - Phillies
Central - Cards
West - Giants
Wild Card - Diamondbacks

World Series: Cardinals over Rays in 6

FUCK Detroit

2010-03-10T19:57:00.002-06:00

A couple of days late, but that's better than a couple months. All I can say about Sunday's game is Fuck Detroit. Fuck them in their unemployed ass.

It's bad enough the Hawks had the second period from hell, and that all the skaters looked hungover, and that NBC had this game start at 11:30 in the fucking morning, and bad enough that I had to witness my first loss of the season, but then this nutsack goes and writes this horseshit piece of a story: http://blog.mlive.com/ottoman-empire/2010/03/chicago_blackhawks_national_anthem_tradition_has_to_go.html

Seriously? This asshole can go lick a dick.

The war veterans that attend everygame don't seem to have a problem with the raucous anthem. They are also treated to a standing ovation every game, so I don't want to hear any of this "unpatriotic" bullshit. This is just a grumpy detroit fuckstain with nothing better to do. I know you can't believe everything in a video games (otherwise I'd be a world class golfer, mafia member and general manager), but in NHL '10 they even call it one of the great traditions in all of sports. So again, FUCK DETROIT.

Quick question, what would you call Chicago if it sucked?

Detroit.

Observations from the game:
- I was a dumb hockey fan once, but I at least I didn't pretend to be smart. The same cannot be said for the idiots populating the 300 level nowadays. I'm all for new fans, I was one recently too, but at least get your shit straight. We can't trade Versteeg for Ovechkin, Corey Crawford is not the answer in goal, and don't be afraid to point out our skaters turning the puck over in their own zone before chastising the goalies.
-I don't like to blame the Zebras, but holy hell they were terrible in this game.
-Fuck NBC. There's absolutely no good reason for a hockey game to start before noon. When you're fighting church traffic on your way to the stadium, there's something seriously wrong. And lucky me, my tickets this Sunday are for a game which NBC decided to start at 11 FUCKING 30 again... If it wasn't for Community and The Office I'd boycott the channel.

Blackhawks - Red Wings preview

2010-03-06T14:06:00.002-06:00

Been a while since I posted a blog... things were crazy busy in December with a lot of games and not a lot of time for writing. Then I only attended 3 or so games since the calendar year and was lazy... but with the rivals assbags in coming to town tomorrow, I thought I'd get in the mood. So enjoy the preview:

Mother Nature is a whore, but she can't stop the mojo

2009-12-10T13:16:00.006-06:00

Game 7: W 2-1/OT vs. Rangers: Another game, another overtime, and another win for the Blackhawks, this time against the NY Rangers. For a change it was Byfuglien providing the OT heroics. I know what you're thinking (I have that ESPN or whatever it's called). You think I made a mistake because there's no way in hell Byfuglien could have been a hero, but look I have evidence! This would have run me and Thomas D's record to a perfect 7-0, except that he didn't make it because work hates him, and mother nature (who is a whore) shit on northwest Indiana and Chicago the last two days. So he didn't make it, but Camp took his seat (literally) and extended the streak. So suck on that mother nature!!

The Hawks really didn't give me anything to complain about, as even perpetual targets "Suck", "Soup", and "The French F-Bomb" played well enough to avoid pot-shots by me. You know, unless I want to bitch about "The French F-Bomb" giving up a goal, or "Soup" doing a couple more spin moves, but that's kinda nit-picking in a game that the Hawks won.

But the real story of the game was New York goalie, Henrik Lundqvist. This dude nearly stole the game for the Rangers. The Hawks kicked New York's ass up and down the ice all night. They outshot them 16-5 in the 1st, 14-10 in the 2nd, and 11-3 in the 3rd/OT... but Lundqvist stood on his head all night (a hockey expression I love by the way) and prevented the Hawks from punching one in til just under 6 minutes remained. Toews broke through with a power play scrum and the pucked just slid in for once.

Overtime was it's usual frenetic pace, after a couple of missed shots by both teams, Big Buff got on the breakaway (I swear I'm not making this up) made a nice move and got the 41st shot of the night past Lundqvist for the winner.

Random notes/thoughts/happenings tonight:
-Learned the names of 2 people we've sat next to for 4 or 5 games now... (Ed and Basha)
-The other 2 people we sit next to got in an accident on the way to the game. (I told you mother nature is a whore)
-NHL resident fuckstain Sean Avery is on the Rangers... this is worth noting b/c I didn't notice him on the ice. I figured a fight with that bag of douche would have been imminent, especially with the ice time Eager and "I'll fight (and lose to) anyone" Frasor received. Kinda bummed for no fights last night...
-One of the loudest non-Huet/Detroit related boos I've ever heard happened last night. The Ice Crew thought it was a media timeout and time to come out and clean the ice... Refs thought otherwise and sent them back off. (male) Fans were not happy.

Kudos to Big Buff for do something worthwhile, allowing me to show him rockin this awesome suit

Current Record/Standings: 19-7-3, 41 points. 1st/Division, 2nd/Conference
Next up for the Hawks: @ Buffalo, Fri. Dec 11th
Next up for Me and Thomas D: Home vs Bruins, Fri. Dec 18th (sans Thomas D again - effing company christmas parties)

Lazy Sunday

2009-12-06T13:21:00.003-06:00

Let's see, last night I consumed all of the ingredients for hangover. So I planned on doing absolutely nothing today... Unfortunately, there's no sound on RedZone today, so I'm stuck watching the shitbowl of a "football" game known as the Rams-Bears. Granted, I'm a Bears fan, but this game is like stabbing yourself in the eye with a toothpick. And now, its a halftime, so I felt like blogging about the past week and a half of sports.

Welcome back home.
So the last time I talked about the Blackhawks, I was skeptical/weary of the return of Marian Hossa. That night he scored two goals as the Hawks beat the NHL best Sharks like a red-headed stepchild. Of course, then the Hawks crapped the bed losing 3-0 to Anaheim and in a shootout to LA.

Game 6: Dec 1st, vs Columbus Blue Jackets W 4-3/SO
So they finally got back home Tuesday, for a divisional battle against Columbus. Thomas D and I were in attendance, and I even engaged in some friendly shit-talking with my buddy Mike who lives in Columbus. This was short lived, as the Hawks spent most of the game skating around like retard trying to hump a door-knob... with one notable exception.
The game ended up tied at 3, in a shootout that lasted longer than the Christmas holiday season. The French F-Bomb stood on his head, stopping 10 of 11 shots, which was just enough time for Seabrook to knock home the winner allowing Thomas D and I to advance our record on the season to 6-0.

After this dramatic win, the Hawks shit the bed again and lost to Nashville (who somehow has jumped into 2nd place, seriously). I'm beginning to notice an annoying trend. As good as the Blackhawks are, they're not exactly running away and hiding from teams. And probably won't. So they'll test my nerves and my patience as they dick around with teams like Nashville.

But all is well, as they redeemed themselves with a win at Pittsburgh. I didn't pay super close attention b/c I was eating pizza and drinking pitchers of fat tire, but a win is a win, even if it's just 2-1 in OT. I did notice that Hossa scored again, and has earned the right to be called by name, not the nickname I gave. Also VerSTUD had the winner, and Niemi played his ass off. I'll take it.

Current Record/Standings: 18-7-3, 39 points. 1st/Division, 2nd/Conference
Next up for the Hawks: vs Rangers, Wed. Dec 9th
Next up for Me and Thomas D: Home vs Rangers, Wed. Dec 9th

The WTF Sox Update

2009-11-25T18:11:00.003-06:00

What the fuck????????? Kenny Williams is killing me this offseason. I had made my peace with losing Dye and Podsednik. And Fields was on his way out the door well before the Sox got eliminated from playoff contention. But what the fuck is happening on the Southside? I feel like I've been punched in the face.

We want to get younger. Add speed. Play "Ozzie-ball" (whatever the fuck that is). Alright, fine I get it. That's how you justify wasting more money than Congress on mediocre-at-best players like Alex Rios. (I can't wait to see this guy "earn" his $70M with a contract that'll probably last longer than my life)

Then what the hell? First we sign Omar Vizquel. He's a thousand!
-He's so old he left his wallet on Noah's Ark.
-He's so old that he owes Moses a dollar.
-He's so old that he sat in front of Jesus in the first grade.
-He's so old that his social security number is 1 (haha, just kidding. His a foreigner, he doesn't need a SSN!)
-He's so old that in school, there was no history class.
-He's so old that if he acted his age, he'd die.
Feel free to leave your own old age joke in the comments.

We back this up by signing Andruw Jones who is conservatively listed at 32, though he and his .214 batting average have me believing he's much older. Well he's played like it.

But we have nice speedy, young players who excel at "Ozzie-ball" like Chris Getz. Wait, what's that you say? We traded him. Shit, I guess my dog isn't as "in the know" as his. Well this makes total fucking sense right.

Kenny Williams has said these moves are bolstering the Sox bench with quality players. Well, despite my difference of opinion on what's "quality" I can understand his logic. Except for one fatal flaw.... WE DON'T HAVE A QUALITY STARTING LINEUP! Call me crazy, but the offseason should be spent making moves to make the team better. Last year, the Yankees went after key guys like CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett, and Mark Teixeira; all of whom are key starters. Oh, and they won the damn World Series.

Now, I don't expect the Sox to go out and break the bank. They've accidentally done that already with the pick-ups Rios and Peavy, and the extensions Buerhle and Konerko are playing under. But would it be too hard to find some starters? Preferably a lead-off hitter since evidently ours wasn't worth keeping. Or find players who'll enable our guys to stop playing out of position (Ramirez is playing SS despite being better when at 2nd. Beckham spent last season at 3B, and will play 2B this year despite being a natural SS- I'm sure this is logical to someone, but I don't have that logic).

But it's ok. Rumor has it that the Sox have a keen interest in Coco Crisp, presumably as a leadoff hitter because he's fast. (Either that or they're looking for that elusive marketing deal with Cocoa Krispies) Call me skeptical, but I don't think a 30-year old who's been battling injuries, coming off a season when he hit .228 is the answer. Especially since he plays the same position as the overpriced Rios. I just don't see this helping. Is Chone Figgins really too much to ask for?

Anyway I'm looking forward to the season rooting for my adopted national league team (Phillies) for a full season instead of just after the White Sox season ends.

EDITOR'S NOTE: (that's right I editor's noted myself) The last time I was this pissed during an off-season it was the summer we traded Carlos Lee for Scott Podsednik and Luis Vizcaino... the Sox won the World Series the following season. Let's see where this goes...

Being weary of Marian Hossa/Hawkey update

2009-11-24T18:36:00.002-06:00

So once again, I've probably taken waaay too long to update this amazingly terrific sports blog. But once again, I don't give a rat's ass, so the 2 or 3 people that actually read this can suck it up. Or stop reading. I don't care.

So on to Hawks.
Thomas D and I are now a whopping 5-0 in person this season. Granted, this game was a while ago, but here's my quick recap as I now remember it, before diving into the subject of the blog.

Game 5: Sun. Nov 15th, San Jose Sharks @ Blackhawks... W 4-3/OT
The Hawks capped off a perfect 4-0 homestand with a key win over the team with the best record in the West. The Sharks jumped out to a 3-1 lead, but the Hawks came right back and tied it in the 2nd period. Nothing happened in the 3rd, then Seabrook scored quickly into overtime to send us home.

Since then the Hawks started their annual circus road trip out with a bang, kicking the shit out of Calgary 7-1, smacking around Edmonton 5-2, then surviving a slugfest with Vancouver 1-0. That makes a 7 game winning streak and bring us up to now, the day before their next game, against the San Jose Sharks. This game is significant as it marks the return (start?) of the "$60M Injury".

Everyone and their mother has an opinion on the return of Hossa. (Great hockey blog story here. And another good blog story here, by people who write more than me.) Personally, I'm a little skeptical. Granted, I haven't been a hockey guy for a long time. But I've seen shit like this before. The "Savior" comes in and automatically a team is supposed to win everything. Well this Blackhawks bandwagon is getting crowded in a hurry. Meanwhile, we've seen nothing from this guy yet. Hence, the $60M Injury nickname. (FYI, this nickname will stand til I'm sufficiently impressed with his play) While I don't doubt Hossa to be a great talent (you have to be to earn that kind of money, right?) But here's my concerns:
-I'm considerably worried about how he fits into this team. His cap number has already made re-signing Kane, Toews and Keith more difficult than it should be and is most likely going to force Sopel out of town for nothing other than cap relief (though I'd be a dick to not note than Campbell's cap hit is worse, and I strongly believe Huet to be vastly overpaid).
-The Hawks are red hot right now. Hossa will be on the same line as Toews and Kane. This could potentially disrupt the great chemistry the Hawks have working for them right now. Especially because...
-His injury. That we didn't know about when signing him for $60M. I can almost guarantee he's not all the way ready for the rigors of an NHL game. The Hawks will need to withstand about 3 weeks of a "pre-season" for the $60M Injury. The next 3 weeks contain plenty of big-time games that could start to shape the season. It's gonna be key to play well, especially against some of the elite teams in the league (i.e. Sharks, Penguins) before getting into the big rivalry games against his former team, the Red Wings. Which brings me to my last point of concern...
-His playoff performances. The $60M Injury has been on the losing end of the last 2 Stanley Cup Finals. I don't know how this makes me feel. I feel pretty confident that there will be some playoff hockey in Chicago this spring. So how is he going to help. On one hand, he's used to going deep in the playoffs and his teams have made nice runs. On the other hand, his teams have "struggled" on the ultimate stage and failed to win the Cup. On the other hand how much of his team's efforts can be attributed to him? It's tough to say.

So I'm a little weary. I'd rather be a little cautious and find myself surprised at the success than the other way around. So maybe that's why I'm telling myself these things. Or maybe the media attention the Blackhawks are receiving again scares the shit out of me. I don't know. But let's see where this takes me.

Current Record/Standings: 15-5-2, 32 points. 1st in Division, 2nd in Conference
Next up for the Hawks: @San Jose Sharks, Wednesday Nov. 25th
Next up for Me and Thomas D: Home vs Blue Jackets, Tuesday Dec. 1st

2009-11-09T22:15:00.000-06:00

So maybe the NHL season started on October 2nd. And maybe I even went to a preseason game in the middle of September. (Hint: it did, and I did) So perhaps there should have been some mention of the Blackhawks season in my blog before now. But dammit, I'm paid to be an architect. Not a fucking beat writer, so you'll get my opinion when I damn well please.

Since this is the first post of the season, you'll want to know the nicknames of some of the newer players (and other nicknames in general).
Besides Kaner and Tazer, (and Steeger and Eager) we've got "BOOM", "Soup", "The French F-Bomb", "Suck", and "The $60M Injury". Maybe I'll adjust Hossa's nickname once he actually suits up and plays.

Anyway, after tonight's fantastic 3rd period where I'm 99% sure the Hawks scored more goals than the Kings got shots (3-2 I believe) Thomas D and I are now 4-0 on the season for games we've attended. Unless you count that shitty preseason loss, but we don't because we left right before the overtime to go get wasted on a pub crawl. I'm still sure we made the right decision.

In the essence of time I'll just give a quick thought or two from what I can remember of each game I've attended.

Game 1: Calgary @ Hawks Oct. 12, 2009
If the Bears woulda been on Monday night football, we would have left. The French F-Bomb lived up to his name, allowing 3 early goals, and Niemi gave up 2 more in the first. All of that was just the set-up for the greatest comeback in NHL history (look it up, it tied a record) as the Hawks came back from down 5-0 to win 6-5 in OT, in the second greatest game I've seen in person. (Trailing last years playoff wins over Detroit (sucks))

Game 2: Edmonton @ Hawks, Oct. 14, 2009
The return of Khabibulan, the goalie I wish the Hawks still had, instead of the French F-Bomb. The Hawks won 4-3 in a game that didn't seem that close and got really out of hand at the end. There was a fight near us in the stands, some fights on the ice, and the game ended up with a 4-3 and an empty net. Weird game.

Game 3: Minnesota @ Hawks, Oct. 26, 2009
The return of Martin Havlat, the leading point scorer from last year's team. It's a wonder why the Hawks were picked to do so well this year without the key guys from last year. Anyway, this game was actually kind of forgettable as a the Hawks beat a bad Wild team 3-1. I honestly don't remember a thing about this game. (I even had to look up the score and the date) And I wasn't even drunk b/c it was a Monday.

Game 4: Los Angeles @ Hawks
Tazer was lost to a concussion back in mid-October. He joined the concussed Eager as well as Burish (torn ACL) and "The $60M Injury" while Bolland played with a bad back. The rag-tag Hawks were treading water, and tonight, Eager and Tazer came back. The Captain made the most of his return with a goal, and The French F-Bomb has actually put together a few decent games recently. As I mentioned above, the Hawks scored 3 goals in the 3rd to take the win, 4-1, over a Kings team I was stunned to find out had 10 wins thus far.

Current Record/Standings: 9-5-2, 20 points. 1st in Division, 3rd in Conference
Next up for the Hawks: Home against Toronto Maple Leafs, Friday Nov. 13
Next up for Me and Thomas D: Home against San Jose Sharks, Sunday Nov. 15

Cedric Benson likes boys/NFL Update

2009-11-07T13:32:00.000-06:00

Ok, this blog update is well past due. I mean, if this were a steak, it'd be so overdone you could use it as charcoal for your next fire. I mean, I got into a good rant about why Cedric Benson is a worthless fuckstick about 2 weeks ago, right after he and the Bengals embarrassed my Bears, and I didn't even get around to posting it til now. So instead of formulating some intelligent argument as to why I and all Bears should hate this boner-for (what's a boner-for?) I'm going to post what I wrote in a couple of messages right after the fact.

In response to Benson no longer being a bust....

All it took was years of suckitude in Chicago, followed by 2 arrests for alcohol related issues, followed by his release for him to get motivated to do something about his career... I guess being a #4 overall pick and being paid millions isnt enough motivation to try to occasionally break a tackle or run past someone... seriously Benson can go lick a big fat dick

After being baited into one more solid rant....

He was worthless... and him being a crybaby bag of douche cost the Bears their starting RB from their super bowl run (Thomas Jones) and set the franchise back a couple of years at that position...
(maybe, just maybe if the Bears had their back who was running for like 1200+ yards still, they wouldnt have to spend future, 4th & 2nd round picks on RBs and also sign a Free Agent, and then I don't know, we could help the offensive line with picks and free agents, which was & is the biggest fucking need on the team)... but crybaby Ced bullying his way into the starting position and forcing Jones out of town set us back, just so he could be a dick and not even try to be a good running back for us.

Benson is a fucktard and I hate that steaming pile of dog shit.

I think that gets my point across. By the way, he's now on my fantasy football team, which all but guarantees his awful second half of the season. You're welcome Bears fans.

Are QBs good or something?

2009-04-02T19:32:00.001-05:00

Ok, this was supposed to be a massive blog about Scrubs. I was ready to post with crazy links (the idea I stole from Sean) and thoughtful insight. I was gearing up for it all season and ready to go nuts, but then today the unthinkable happened. Jerry Angelo made a trade. For a quarterback.

Holy hell, I never thought I'd see this. This man recently said he was committed to Kyle Orton as our quarterback. Which I was ready to try to talk myself into for another year. Because, honestly when you break down the miserable run of Bears QBs over the years since they won the Super Bowl with Jim McMahon, Kyle Orton looks decent.
See this list: Mike Tomczak, Doug Flutie, Jim Harbaugh, Peter Tom Willis (if that's not the name of an assassin or serial killer, i don't know what is) Will Furrer, Erik Kramer, Steve Walsh, Dave Krieg, Rick Mirer, Steve Stenstrom, Moses Moreno, Shane Matthews, Cade McNown, Jim Miller (who might have been the best on this [pathetic] list), Chris Chandler, Henry Burris (the poor-man's Kordell Stewart), Kordell Stewart (the poor man's Slash Stewart), Jonathan Quinn, Craig Krenzel, Chad Hutchinson, Rex Grossman, Brian Griese

So naturally trading for Jay Cutler seemed highly unlikely. I thought it was possible we'd see a 4th round draft pick wasted on a QB destined to make the list above, a list that's not exactly a roster of Pro-Bowl caliber QBs, which incidentally, Jay Cutler is. So that's a good thing.

So let's break down the trade.
Bears get: Jay Cutler.
Broncos get: (Who the fuck cares, we got Jay Cutler!)
First round pick in 2009 (#18), first round pick in 2010, Kyle Orton.

Simple math here: Jay Cutler > Kyle Orton. That's a win.
As for the #1 picks, well the only thing more depressing than the Bears list of quarterbacks is their list of first round draft picks under Angelo. (see Benson, Cedric) Plus, the Bears traded the 11th pick to acquire Rick Mirer, so as long as Cutler performs better than Mirer (a bling semi-retarded monkey could) and manages not to get cut next year, he's exceeded that lofty expectation. So it's basically a can't lose situation...

Speaking of can't lose.
The Bears also managed to sign Orlando Pace today. Sure he's old. Sure he hasn't been healthy. (sounds like a good fit) But is he honestly any worse than any of the Bears lineman. I'm going to say no. He's lost more talent than most of the line ever had, so I'm ready to welcome him with (big) open arms.

Suddenly, I wish it was football season already!

The Big-time Needed Update Edition

2008-11-01T20:31:00.000-05:00

Ok, I've been slackin about getting this one updated. I explained why in my personal blog, but basially I was tired and lazy. I'll refund your money, so quit bitchin.

Anyway, the Bulls started their season. I'll break into full thoughts later, but first I attempted another running diary. Again I failed as I had driven 600 miles and spent 4 nights drinking before the opener. Not a smart idea but here's where I ended up with.

Bulls Opener Running Diary 10/28/08

The start of the NBA season has prompted me to do another Bill Simmons-esque running diary. I have no idea what happened in the preseason, other than Derrick Rose dropping 30 points once. I’m excited to see how he plays (and if he starts) and how he gels with my boy, Tyrus Thomas. If I don’t get a big season out of Tyrus this year I’m not going to be happy. I’m also interested to see how this Vinny Del Negro guy is gonna work out as a coach since I don’t know anything about his coaching style. With that said let’s get this thing going.

7:37 During the starting lineups I learned that Austin Croshere is on the Bucks. This must make Sean very happy. Meanwhile the Bulls have a new introduction video montage for the season. You’d think they finished a lot better than just the 9^th best record in the league if this was all you’d seen of last year.

7:40 Christ, this really drawn out. And I’m very disappointed in some of the Luv-a-Bulls. Their talent level has dropped a little. (or the camera man sucks at life)

7:43 Thankfully, the Bulls kept the traditional video tribute and the Alan Parson Project’s “Sirius” for the starting lineup intro. Maybe that other video was a one-time deal. The Bulls are running out a starting lineup of Luol Deng, Tyrus Thomas, Drew Gooden, Thabo Sefolosha, and Derrick Rose. Gotta say I’m a huge fan of this lineup. It’s about time Thabo gets his due. And of course, I’m very happy to see Noah, Hinrich and Gordon all starting on the bench.

7:48 F-Bomb. I want to quit already. Rose turns it over. And Redd scores for the Bucks. That sucks.

7:51 I see Derrick Rose hasn’t worked on his free-throws since Memphis. He missed his first. But a turnover by the Bucks and a nice play to follow is a little redemption. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ll be focusing on the Bulls I like and am interested about more than a play by play. And Tyrus had a nice assist to Deng as I typed that last sentence.

7:53 I have to admit. Rose may have had some jitters early. But he’s handling the ball well. And he also picked up a steal on the defensive end.

7:57 Tyrus has a couple of boards, an assist and a made free throw. I’m also seeing Derrick Rose really push the pace when he gets a chance. I’m liking this. By the way, Bulls lead 13-9 about halfway through the first.

7:59 A pretty nice lob from Deng to Tyrus gets wiped away because the ball was in the cylinder. Bogus call. But still good things from this lineup (minus Thabo picking up 2 quick fouls and getting yanked in favor of Hinrich).

8:06 We’ve hit a little boring stretch, and my exhaustion from the weekend is starting to sink in. It feels like I’ve hit a wall and I’m starting to second guess my decision to do this. It’s currently 17-13 Bulls as Andrew Bogut is kicking their ass right now. Deng however seems to have life in his legs. Half of what he’s doing isn’t counting right now, but he looks better and sharper than this point last season. Maybe he’s earning that contract.

8:11 Tyrus missed a shot after a good move inside, but is showing a lot of hustle and forced a jump ball. I like that. He’s a freakish athlete if he’d go hard every game. (By the way, he won the jump… are you surprised I’m not. His legs are spring loaded)

8:15 First quarter is over. Tied at 26.

8:18. Noah is in the game. I’d rather not watch. I truly hate that man. I’m very disappointed Roy Hibbert decided to eff up his draft status and go back to school. If he ends up being good for the Pacers this year I’m going to go nuts as I really wanted the Bulls to draft him in ’07.

8:24 I’d say the Bulls bench looks like shit. But that might be insulting to shit. They’re boring, inefficient, feature Joakim Noah, and are now losing to Milwuakee. At least Tyrus is out there and he picked up another nice assist.

8:30 Tyrus hits an open jumper to tie the game at 34. Then he follows it up with a nice drive. During the replay I learned he was in the top 3 in the league in the preseason in blocks and rebounds. That’s good to know. He missed another free throw though (now 2-4) and only has 4 points.

8:34 I’m not observant. I just noticed that Johnny “Red” Kerr isn’t announcing. I don’t know if this is permanent or not. I sure hope it isn’t. I don’t mind Stacey and the other guy, but Kerr tied it together.

8:41 Eh, I’m bored. This game has been moving pretty slow since the beginning. It’s now tied at 41. I’m falling asleep and actually really need a shower and a shave. I think I’m calling this update complete. I know this one sucked a little, but now that NBA is in full action with the NHL and NFL already rolling along you can expect a few more updates.

Ok, sound good. The Bulls won the opener, then embarrassed themselves at Boston, and are in the process of embarrassing themselves at home against Memphis (in the first half as i type this) tonight. The starting lineup looks god awful over the last 2 games. Missing shots, turning it over, basically not caring.
Kirk Hinrich seems to be a sulky, whiny, little bitch when he doesn't get his way, (i.e. get to start)
Someone is going to have to get traded when Hughes comes back b/c the Hinrich/Gordon/Rose/Sefolosha/Hughes backcourt clusterfuck is not gonna cut it.
Tyrus Thomas has shot the ball like a blind-retarded midget and would probably be better served by attempting to shoot full court shots. He'd probably make the same percentage.
Ben Gordon has looked worse than Tyrus. He sucks. I really didn't want him to come back. He dribbles forever, shoots often and erratically, and worst of all is taking the ball out of the hands of the only bright spot.....

Derrick Rose. Thank God for him. I strongly believe he'll be the best player from this draft within a few years, but I really didn't think he'd be so good so early. He can get into the lane at will, and if he learns to knock down that mid-range jumper he'll be near unstoppable.

Shifting gears over to the ice now.
I've missed alot of the Blackhawks games on tv recently as I've either been out of town, forgetting to watch, or enthralled in episodes of the Office or something else.
However, I've been to 2 of my 10 games so far.
I'm not going to bother recapping the game against Phoenix as that was back on Oct. 15, and that seems like forever ago.

But Oct. 25, was the marquee game on my schedule. The Dee-troit (SUCKS) Red Wings. This game was off-the-charts fun.
-The Hawks set an attendance record.
-The bags of douche behind my $15 seat in the standing room only area paid $20 (score one for me)
-Did I mention DEE-TROIT-SUCKS? Because it was heard often. And loudly.
-There was alot of scoring. 5-5, so I saw my first ever overtime. Followed by my first ever shootout.
Granted the Hawks lost, but it was insanely fun, and shootout losses are still with a point. So who the hell cares, I had fun.

Well, that'll wrap up my sports update. Tomorrow I should be back with final thoughts on tonight's Bulls game (probably will skip a Hawks recap since I only caught part due to the Bulls- but the Hawks did win 4-3 in a shootout) and a recap of the Bears game.

0-fer the weekend

2008-10-12T21:43:00.000-05:00

Well fuck me in the goat-ass. Not exactly what I was hoping for in the wide world of Chicago Sports this weekend.

Blackhawks start the season, I continue drinking.

Admittedly I don't a lot about hockey strategy and rules and things like that. But I'm pretty sure when you pull your goaltender, (something Huet (pronounced Who-A, I did learn that much)) who was your big free agent acquisation, in favor of a guy you waived but no one wanted, halfway through your team's first game, you're more or less fucked. 'Fucked' of course being the technical hockey term. Another bad omen is that I feel asleep on the couch watching this game. Though I blame that on being exhausted all week and finally Ovechkin displays bad-assedness while Kane summarizes the
just unwinding on Friday evening. I pray the Hawks weekend
Rangers are good (and apparantly they are) because otherwise the 4-2 beatdown would be really bad.

But lucky me, the Hawks played again on Saturday. This time I managed to stay conscious. The Hawks however didn't. Sure they started strong, scoring twice in the first period, but so did I on Friday. The rest of the game was not as good. Khabibulan (I may have spelled that right), proved why no team wanted him as a goaltender, and the Hawks lost again 4-2. This leaves me hoping the Capitals are a good team, because otherwise it'd be another embarrasing loss. I do know that Alex Ovechkin is a badass, and he proved such status by scoring as much as the entire Blackhawks team.

I guess not all was a wash though, as Duncan Keith looked good, and elevated his status to 'One of the 5 Hawks' names I know' status alongside the aforementioned Huet and Khabibulan, and the young guns, Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews (pronounced Tays- i'm freakin on fire).

Bears steal a win, then snatch a loss
I can't really say I'm surprised. In fact I picked Atlanta to win in my pick 'em this week. But that doesn't mean I didn't want the Bears to win. Naturally the offense looked like trash most of the game, and the defense perfectly executed the 'bend but don't break' strategy. But Kyle 'Fuck Rex Grossman' Orton led the team down the field with a hurry up offense (who knew?) and the Bears took the lead with 11 seconds left. Orton now leads the league in the coveted 'Times his picture appeared in Err's Blog'. Then Jason "I thought he was dead" Elam got a second life after a short kickoff and one deep pass to the sideline set him up for the game winner with 1 second left
on the clock. I'd swear that as the ball went through I couldn't find a pic of Orton from today's game so here's the one
the uprights that Elam missed the ball and instead from last week.
directly kicked Bears fans straight in the nuts.
On to thoughts of the game (only one this week)

Thought 1.
FUCK

Fight, Cardinals Fight.
Since I don't have whatever channel would actually show the Ball State Fighting Football Cardinals, I really on ESPN.com. Here's what they said Ball State goes to 7-0
That's good enough for me. Pretty sure they're the best team in Indiana. So suck on that Notre Dame.

Under the lights...
A bonus update this week. Saturday night, after the embarrasment known as a Blackhawks game, the Phoenix Suns and Denver Nuggets played an outdoor game. I didn't really follow the action of the game because it's preseason and who cares, but I still had a couple of thoughts from the game.

Thought 1.
The temperature got down to the mid-60s by the end of the game. Apparantly, these people (including the athletes) out west are pussies. Fans in attendance bundled up with hooded sweatshirts and Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller, and Marv Albert (more on this) kept talking about how cold it was while fighting over a scarf, despite wearing suits.
Seriously, how weak are these people. It was 60s... That's shorts and t-shirt weather. You don't see football fans acting like a bunch of wimps. Even when the weather turns to the negative degrees you'll always find at least a few people going shirtless.

Thought 2.
Reggie Miller and Charles Barkley are a fantastic color analyst dual. I was immensely entertained throughout the game. Especially when Barkley got on his rant about Obama becoming the first black president, which lead to this exchange.
Sir Chuck: "When we have a black president we're not getting $700 billion in debt." (we're 10+ trillion in debt for the record)
Reggie: "Like you're one to talk"
Charles: "I didn't lose that much"
Good stuff. These guys need to be at every big game on TNT for the entire season. TNT found gold during this game.

That's it for this week. I'll be at the Blackhawks game Wednesday, so we may have our first "Drunken recap" of the year.

1 more game, 100 years and #25

2008-10-05T20:59:00.000-05:00

Home sweet home. After a great start to the week, the Sox faced some tough times down in Tampa. However, another great start by Danks (Tuesday's hero) gave the Sox offense a chance and Dewayne Wise came through. Seriously, this guy to the left. After 3 games, he's the offensive hero for the Sox. How much could you have made on that bet? I could probably quit my job and afford tickets to Monday's game 4. Still as long as someone gets it done, I don't care who it is. Plus, who says the Sox can't run? Wise, Brian Anderson and Juan Uribe all stole bases, and the sox scored all 5 runs without the use of the longball. Promising signs. On to thoughts of the game.

Thought #1.
The power of the blackout. I wish I could have been to either game, but the Sox are still playing, and with one more (blackout?) at home this might just go back to Tampa.

Thought #2.
Harold Reynolds is an awful in-game analyst. He completely contradicted himself countless times (I seriously lost count. I was drinking, it was tough when i got past 5). Sometimes in the same inning. I always thought Hawk and DJ were awful, but at least they stand their ground in their mindless ramblings. Reynolds is a moron.

Thought #3.
Dewayne fucking Wise. Seriously.
We have Dye, Thome, Konerko, Griffey, and even Mr. Grand Slam Alexei Ramirez, and it's been the Dewayne fucking Wise show. I don't even know what to say.

In other sports news, there's always next year.....
I have to take a stab at some Cubs fans (who let me know frequently this year that they'd be playing baseball longer than the Sox). How does year 100 feel? Does it take the sting off, knowing that the Sox are still playing ball?

Oh, it doesn't? Huh.
I also thoroughly enjoyed this article on Sox and Flubs fans: Sox fans are better

#25 in the AP
So the Ball State Fighting Football Cardinals, led by QB (so good they have to be paying him to be at bsu) Nate Davis are now ranked #25 in the AP poll. Pretty impressive. I never thought I'd see a relevant Ball State football team, but these guys keep winning, and keep winning big.

Here's part of ESPN.com's story:

"The Cardinals are off to their best start since going 9-0 to begin the 1965 season. They won their sixth straight game Saturday night, shutting out Toledo 31-0 to improve to 3-0 in the Mid-American Conference...

...Led by Nate Davis, the latest in a long line of talented MAC quarterbacks, and running back MiQuale Lewis, the Cardinals are 11th in the country in total offense at 472 yards per game.

Davis is 10th in passer rating (164.6) and has thrown for 1,662 yards and 11 touchdowns. Lewis is eighth in the nation in rushing at 134 yards per game."

Bear Down Chicago Bears
I obviously don't know shit about preseason predictions. I said I thought the White Sox were built perfectly to go 81-81 and finish 3rd. I also figured the Bears would win 5-6 games. Well through 5, they are half-way there at 3-2. (though I did expect this one against Detroit)

Thought 1.
Forte's rushing numbers are going down every game, which is disturbing. But somehow his play seems to be getting better. And he's getting into the endzone. I think I look smart for making him a late-round pickup in all my fantast leagues.

Thought 2.
While watching the game, I kept thinking back to the preseason during the QB battle. Urlacher said the battle to be the starter wasn't an issue b/c the team had 2 good QBs. I laughed and thought he was out of his mind. Well I'm not sure I want to call Orton "good" just yet, he's been surprising. Once again hitting a new high in passing yards and completing a ton of passes while spreading the ball around. I'm pleasantly surprised.

Thought 3.
I'd like to personally nominate Marty Booker's 1 handed catch (while being interfered with) as the play of the week and possibly the season. I had no idea Marty Booker still had that in him. After all, his last good season was when the Bears traded him 4 years ago. Maybe Miami is truly where WRs go to die.

They're still playin ball on the South Side!

2008-09-30T21:50:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I'm 4 heavy Jack-n-Cokes into this (and a celebratory beer slam that I may or may not have spilled all over my face). Needless to say there was no running diary of the Sox game tonight as I couldn't sit down long enough to not spill a drink on my face, let alone type a running diary.

Anyway, I need to get this out first......

WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
FUCK YOU TWINS!! GOOO SOX GOOO!!!

Ok, that feels better. My hatred for the Cubs is well-known, (unless you don't know me and in that case why are you reading my shit), and as much as I hate those fuckers about 7 miles north of the good team, I'm convinced I hate the Twins at least 3x as much. (Could be more, I'm no mathematician) So seeing them celebrate a division championship on US Cellular Field would have been enough for me to hang myself. Words cannot describe how big this win was for me.

Now let's get into the action.
It was a 1-0 game, so this shouldn't take long.

I don't want to say John Danks is a god, but he was god-like. 8 innings. 2 hits. Most importantly, ZERO runs. I knew this kid was going to be a good one. But I didn't think he'd be this good this soon. He's everything that Javy Vazquez isn't. That makes me even more happy.

And Mr. Incredible (have you seen a side by side pic of Thome and Incredible) hit a Moon-shot. If I had made it to the game (long story, I thought I was gonna get a ticket twice and blew it) that probably woulda hit me in the head. My dad and I love that Concession stand as we can get a Heinekin for 50 cents more than a MGD. (worth the upgrade when paying $6+ a beer) A couple of thoughts about the bomb though.

Thought #1, As much as I hate Hawk and DJ, and least when there's a moonshot like that I know its gone immediately. These TBS announcers fucked with my emotions by not letting me know it was gone til it cleared the fence by about 90 feet. That's just not nice. Don't they know I'm on the verge of a heart-ache (and half-drunk) and can't handle shit like that?

Thought #2, that's Thome's 2nd HR that hit the concourse this year that was a huge homer. The other was a walk-off against the Angels. There might not have even been another homer by anyone to hit the concourse b/c that's an incredible bomb. (I haven't researched this so I don't know for sure) To do this twice, with super-meaningful homeruns is absolutely unthinkable. If I had a vote he just got himself into the hall of fame on his first try.

Speaking of Hall of Fame. Future first ballot HOFer Ken Griffey Jr showed the defense again tonight for the first time in years. He kept the only Twins threat off the board with that gun to home to get some n0-name Twins fuck out. Griffey was always one of my child-hood favorites and to see him come up big in the field tonight was great. (I also saw his first Sox homer in person this year) He's provided some nice memories in that #17 jersey, even if its for less than half a season. I won't forget this.

And finally... Big Bad Bobby Jenks brought it in the 9th. I havent seen that 99 mph fastball since the '05 World Series. I know adrenaline is huge in closers, and maybe he doesn't get his juiced til the postseason. But I'm feeling good b/c if the Sox can get a 9th inning lead, they're gonna win.

Luckily, I've got a day off to recoup before stressing over Thursday's game (and probably swearing while listening on the radio at work). My liver needs this. Go Sox!

Running Diary of the White Sox Game 9/23/08

2008-09-24T20:37:00.000-05:00

Sox Game Running Diary 9/23/08

With the season winding down, and DJ being replaced in the booth next year by Steve Stone (who actually knows what he’s talking about), and the battle for the Central Division coming down to these 3 games, I figure there’s no time like the present to run my Bill Simmons-esque running diary.

7:01 Just flipped over to a little pregame from Hawk and DJ. First mistake of the game, DJ says Scott Baker’s ERA is under 3, when in fact it is 3.69 coming into today. This isn’t reassuring to me.

7:04 First commercials and I’m trying to decide where to set the over/under for Tyler Perry’s House of Pain, and the Miller Lite Dr. Cox commercials. I’m thinking about a million, and I’m taking the over.

7:08 Not sure on tonight’s beverage yet. I think I’ll be starting with a beer, may have to move into the hard stuff once the game gets going. Meanwhile, Hawk and DJ just finished talking about something that provided no real information.

7:10 Griffey is in the lineup tonight. I’m going to make him my Pick the Click before Hawk and DJ show me theirs. I’m hoping for a little “Little Big League” magic.

7:11 AJ gets a nice ovation of boos, as DJ tells me how much they love him here. I think he was being sarcastic, but you can never be quite sure.

7:14 Hawk is goin with Dewayne Wise, DJ is goin with Orlando Cabrera and the crew is backing me up with some Ken Griffey Jr. love.

7:16 Scott Baker resembles Cy Young in the first, setting the Sox down in order while striking out Pierzynski and Dye. Not exactly what I was hoping for.

7:20 Vazquez strikes out Denard Span to start the game. That’s pretty amazing. Even more amazing though is that through 4 outs, Hawk and DJ have complimented the umpiring so far.

7:22 Apparently, Joe Mauer invented hitting. I wouldn’t have guessed that. “The Inventor” grounds out to Alexi Ramirez to end an impressive inning for Vazquez.

7:26 Thome is now 3-15 against Baker after a lead-off single. Now only 3 more singles, or a homer and we’ll have a run.

7:30 Konerko hit’s a perfect “duck fart” broken bat single and somehow Thome gets to third. Griffey is up with no one out. I think I might wet myself. (name that movie reference)

7:32 Hawk and DJ tell me how good Griffey was swinging in batting practice, and that they expect he’ll have a big series playing in a dome. Griffey hits into a run scoring double play to prove that they are morons. At least the Sox lead 1-0. Alexi follows it up with a strikeout and this half inning is over.

7:37 Four straight balls to Morneau to start the inning. And Sox-killer Kubel and his 503 career homers against us is up now.

7:40 It’s probably a good thing Minnesota plays in a dome, as Kubel launches a homer that could have taken down small aircraft.

7:41 Base hit by Delmon Young and I may not make it through this game. After all reruns of the office are on TBS on Tuesdays.

7:47 So after a 1-out first and third situation, we get lucky to get Young in a run-down to get an out, but we botch it and the runners move to 2nd and 3rd. Sox could really use an out or this game could be over in the second inning. Hawk confirms that this a big out after I finish typing that.

7:48 Sox get out of it, but trail 2-1. C’mon offense, we need you.

7:52 Lance Broadway is already warming up in the Sox bullpen. I guess Javy isn’t responding well to Guillen calling him out: [link here: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3602173] Meanwhile, Wise pops up to start the inning.

7:55 Uribe somehow manages a single, but Cabrera makes a quick second out. AJ steps up to another louder ovation of boos (some of the crowd arrived late).

8:00 After a long at-bat, AJ finally breaks his bat and grounds out to end the inning.

8:04 Dr. Jekyl is back as Javy makes quick work of Alexi Casilla (strikeout) and The Inventor (groundout).

8:06 Broken bat grounder by Justin “MVP” Morneau ends the 3rd. I don’t understand why Sox fans cant ever get into the MVP chants. I was trying to start it for Quentin back in early August and no one cared. It’s tragic.

8:13 Three broken bats, 3 outs, boring half-inning. Plus Hawk and DJ didn’t even set me up for a joke.

8:16 Mr. Hyde is back as Kubel leads off with a triple just passed a diving Jr. We may need a doctor as I’m sure he pulled a hamstring or broke something on that effort. Delmon Young flares a double just out of Dye’s reach, so I’m switching to a hard drink.

8:21 While making myself a drink some guy I’ve never heard of reached first on a suicide squeeze. Evidently I can’t pour a drink fast enough.

8:26 A stolen base, followed by another bloop single and its 5-1, Twins. I’m not sure why Javy is still on the mound if he almost didn’t come out for the 3rd. Still only 1 out.

8:30 Another stolen base has me wondering why I decided to put myself through this. On the bright side, the Office starts at 9.

8:33 Vazquez’s 78th pitch ends the 4th inning finally. I think I might strangle Ozzie if he comes out for the 5th.

8:37 Baker issues the “dreaded leadoff walk” to Griffey. I still contend it’s only dreaded when the Sox walk other teams, because its still going to take a triple or a homerun to score a run.

8:38 Fantastic play by someone at third on an Alexi Ramirez rocket, but he can’t make a throw anywhere, so maybe the Sox have something cookin after all. As for me, I’m hoping to be drunk before the inning is over.

8:40 Wise lines out to Young in left, giving us our first “Dag gommit” from Hawk.

8:45 A surprisingly good at bat by Jaun Uribe, (still an out, but a good at bat for him needs to be noted) followed by a Cabrera single has the bases loaded for fan favorite AJ. He’s looked pretty bad so far as the Twins have been jamming him inside. Let’s see if he can snap out of it.

8:47 A mound visit by Minnesota’s pitching coach must have said “throw a strike” as the first pitch is over the center of the plate, and Pierzynski looked hopeless on the second pitch. According to Hawk and DJ, the Twins are catching us at the right time b/c we’re scuffling. Less than a month ago the Twins were in first, not 2 ½ games back, so I’m gonna assume we’re catching them at the right time too. Meanwhile Pierzynski grounds out and we’re in big trouble.

8:52 Clayton Richard is in now, but the results are the same. Lead off single for the Inventor and here we go again. Morneau pummels the next pitch for a double and I’m heading for a refill.

8:57 7-1 now after a broken bat sac fly. I’m too worn out for comments.

9:00 Good news for the Sox. Well their fans at least. The Office is a good one. “The Health Care” Michael promises a surprise to distract the troops from Dwight’s dictorial choosing of a cut-rate health care plan.

9:01 I flipped back to the Sox to realize that Dye has already made an out. Back to the Office I go.
9:04 The inning is over and I probably wont be back (except commercial breaks)

9:16 A commercial break allows me to see it’s still 7-1 in the top of the 7th with 2 outs. Something interesting must have happened though, b/c Hawk and DJ were talking about the science of sounds.

9:17 Meanwhile back on the Office, Dwight has taken away the health care, b/c Pam is suffering from a killer robot epidemic. And someone has Count Choculitis. And Jim locked Dwight in his “workspace” This is much better than the Sox.

9:25 Status update shows its now 9-1. I’m officially done with this diary. If by some chance the Sox get their magic number down to one I might try it again, but I’m done for tonight and probably the rest of this series.